Doctor knows best

Hey folks,

 

While taking my wife to the doctor this week, (she has a broken toe).  I began to reminisce about all the times I have been in the doctor’s office.  I have sinus and stomach issues nothing major but enough to make sure I spend lots of time at doctors offices.  Now I have an HMO. Most people dislike them, me I usually only need a quick prescription so they work for me. And like most HMO doctors they only get to spend 10 min per patient. So they have that prescription pad in a holster like a gun slinger.  And another thing most people don’t like about HMO's are that you are always getting a new Primary care doctor.  As soon as they get some time in they move on.  But like I have expressed in earlier blogs I enjoy meeting different types of folks so this is something I enjoy.  I know I'm strange.  So this one time I came to the doctor’s office for a routine physical.  And now I find I have a new woman Indian doctor.  Now she was a great doctor for the 6 months I had her before she moved on.  And in that time I learned that you should never get a after lunch appointment because she loved her Indian food, and her breath would burn your face off. So my physical is going well until it comes to check for an enlarged prostate. Now any guys dreads this part. It’s the time when they must insert a finger into the rectum to feel if the prostate is enlarged.  So my doctor say's "Mr. Frasca please drop you pants and underwear and face the table.  So remembering what my brother had told me just a few weeks before, I told her, that’s ok but I know that there is a blood test that can be done in place of this vastly invasive finger test.  She nods and thinking I have just dodged a huge bullet I start putting on my shirt when I hear behind me a sound NO ONE wants to hear.  It was the snap of a latex glove being put on. That’s when I reiterate and I think I was stuttering when I said it. “I, I, want the blood test for prostate.”  It must have sounded more like a plea than a statement.  Then this small very attractive Indian woman says in a voice that sounding like it was coming from a prison guard. "Mr. Frasca you paid for a complete examination you’re going to get one".  And I did.

I have never been good a patient anyway.  I remember one night after working 2nd shift I came home sliced my hand open with a knife, right away I knew I would need stitches. Even though I was in my mid thirties and never had stitches.  So I drive myself to the ER and sit there for a couple of hours because as the ER nurse told me, "we have a real emergency right now you will have to wait."  And I'm such a baby I did not say a word because I was worried when they did see me they would make me pay for being a complainer.  So I get to see the ER doctor and this guy just got done dealing with a multiple car accidents with much blood shed.  He looks at my cut and says  yah I guess it could use a few stitches.  So he starts to administer the Novocain via a needle and I start to moan.  So I moan more and gives me more this goes on for over a couple of minutes. When he final says, "can you still feel that!" I said "I could never feel it, I’m just scared." When he loses it and yells at me "you should have said something I thought you were still in pain so I kept giving you more!"  Needless to say my hand was numb for 3 days and I'm not kidding.  I got 4 stitches by the way.  So I guess all I  can say if you find yourself at the doctors office in the near future and your feeling nervous just think of the of the worlds worst patient,  ME and your experience with be fine in comparison.  

See ya,

Vinny

Introductions and endings

Hey, I'm back. 

Did not think I would stop writing that easy.  Well a lot has happened in a week. My job like most had Layoffs.  Only my company puts a nice tag to it. They call it a RIF (Reduction in work Force).  Sounds kind of nice, almost like a bump in the road.  But I assure you if you are one of the unfortunate folks to get RIFED, its no bump. It’s more like a mountain.   A friend got RIFED this week, which got me to thinking about all the people who through RIF's and job changes  I have come a crossed over the years.   It’s amazing in the twenty odd years I have been gainfully employed how many folks have come and gone and added something to my life.  Some bad but looking back I'm happy to say more good.  And the way a person meets another for the first time does make a big impression.   When I was starting a job about 15 years ago I was in the break room and in walks the Sr. VP. Richard Mann.  He says hi my name is Richard Mann, but I prefer Dick. (TRUE STORY).  I said Hi I'm Vinny I’m the new computer operator.  Then Dick says "Vinny, what are you in the Mafia".  And like a bolt from above, I’m thinking. Did "Dick Mann" just make fun of MY name. WOW.  And now that I think of it no one ever called him Dick or Mr. Mann.  It was always Dick Mann.  Like he was a super hero.  And I’m guessing like me you are right now thinking, thats a super hero NO ONE wants a visit from. 

That job was a good one even with its strange caped crusader.  And most of my jobs have been like that.  Some better than others but I have always thought it was the tapestry of folks that make a job enjoyable or not.  Like the time I was working at Chemical company and the guard at front desk took a likening to me. Now today it would have been called a BROMANCE.  On his part not mine!  And this security guard,  lets call him Jay, because that was his name.   He would follow me anywhere just to keep the conversation going. You know the type of guy. When he was young his parents most likely tied a pork chop around his neck just so the dog would play with him.  And he would follow me into the men’s room and keep talking to me though the stall door.  One night during a fierce thunderstorm he followed me out to my truck. Still talking while I got in and closed the door. I yelled at him, "Jay you better get in before you get hit by lightning". He says "Nahh I have no metal on me". Which I replied "how about that badge that sits above your heart?"  And jay lets just say didn’t know that our company carried dental insurance.  He would down ice-cream sandwiches with no regard for his one last good tooth.

Now you all have had these types of co-worker relationships.  Yah right. Or more normal ones.  But like me if you think back you will find these types of characters in your past employment. 

And theses people are the spice of the boring work day.  So to my friend who got RIFED this week, he is a very funny guy and I will miss him.  But I’m sure he will hook up with another company in the near future.  He added fun to my mundane workday. I wish him the best.

So if you are one of the lucky ones to still have a job.  And you are out with you co-workers having a few after work drinks,  you may be in the presence of a super hero.  Here’s to you "DICK MAN". 

See ya  

Vinny.

1. running with scissors

Hi, My name is Vinny.

You may or may not know me that's really does not matter. All you really have to know is I look at things in a very different way than most. Some would say Funny, weird or oh my god that guy has a blog. For the latter I apologize. My purpose of this is blog is to share my angle on daily things. Because I been told by many folks that you should write this stuff down. Now that I think about it, I think that person was being sarcastic. Any way here I go.

I am that person who was never really motivated by anything unless you told me NOT to do it. Yes I was the kid running with scissors and the same kid in the ER with a story to tell. I am also the guy who you will find talking to the other person in Walmart with the lisp, lazy eye and body odor. Not that I want to, oh no. These people find me, where ever I go. At first I thought I am a loser magnet. But now I choose to look at it they way my wife does, (usually she's the one in the corner knelling down trying not to laugh and pee at the same time.) These are my people embrace them. I have and since then my life is a little fuller. These people while at first glance may look strange or weird. Usually they are the happiest and most grounded people. Because they are not hung up on fashion, money and sadly hygiene. One day while coming home from Boston on the T, I had a long discussion with one of my minion on the topic of why as he put it "you know ice cream has no bones". And may I add all the time never stopping picking his nose. Or the time I was food shopping and elderly lady with out looking up yelled at me "RICHIE, what are the ingredients in this". It was a jar of pickles. I started to read, "cucumbers, water, salt ", this is when she looks up and says, so the kid in the parking lot getting carts could hear. "YOUR NOT RICHIE". And yes my wife just made a b line for the bathroom.

So if you encounter my people on your daily travels, stop and listen you may have a great story for the people at work or you local watering hole. Oh and I would like to reiterate. "Ice cream has no bones." Ponder that awhile and try not to smile. Well this is my first blog.

Vinny